Yesterday was a very emotional day for me. I can only look back now and realize that I was responding to my mislead expectations for myself. It is time I set new expectations.
First thing Friday morning I had my fitness reevaluation. This was a time to measure and weigh and see my "results" from my 2 weeks at Green Mountain. These "results" are the tangible results that we all want to see. But, as I've learned during my time here, these are not the results that count. It is not about the numbers on the scale or the numbers on the tape measure but how I feel. Needless to say, stepping on the scale was nerve wracking and immediately prompted a mini meltdown. Not because I didn't get results, my results were modest and, for me, I should have been proud. But because, as usual, I set my sights and hopes on goals that were not realistic. Don't we all do that? Isn't that what has been ingrained in us over the years and years that we strive for the unrealistic? Immediately, I was surrounded by my Green Mountain friends who started repeating all the Green Mountain mantras we've come to learn. "How do you feel Julia, don't you feel stronger, don't you feel better??" "It's not about the numbers on the scale but how you feel that really counts." "Be kind and gentle to yourself Julia." I knew this and learned this but it just goes to show that 2 weeks is not long enough to change beliefs I've had for 33 years. That will come slowly and by repeating it to myself every time I have self doubt.
After breakfast, it was time to get moving. Time to clear my head of the negative self doubt that was flying through my head. The first class of the day was a Total Body Strength class with LynnAnn. During my fitness evaluation, LynnAnn stressed the importance of strength training when I get home. Strength training helps increase our basal metabolic rate. This is the part that I usually ignore. But I've found during my time at Green Mountain that I really like strength training. There's something empowering about lifting weights and seeing new muscles where you previously hadn't seen them. LynnAnn also recommended I increase my weights. Usually we use a light and heavy weight and I had been using 3 pound and 5 pound weights. Come to find out, I can use 5, 8, and 10 pound weights! To bad I didn't realize this before my last day!!
After strength training, we had a Cardio combo class with Masha. Masha is a great fitness instructor, pushing us but giving us the modifications we might need.
With Masha
By lunchtime, I was in a much better place mentally and physically (you can't help but be in a better place physically after all that exercise).
After lunch, I had a class called, "Eating Plan Brainstorming Suggestion: Strategies for Going Home." This was very helpful because we learned tips on how to implement what we had learned into our lives once we get home. The most important thing to remember is that you can't change everything overnight. We made 3 goals for ourselves to try to implement when we get home. It's all about small steps.
At 2:30, it was time to go Vermonting for my last time. It was colder and a threat of snow in the air but the walk was refreshing.
My last class at Green Mountain was "Sustain the Change." All of us going home gathered together to share and cry. It's an emotional thing, leaving our little bubble. It's something I can't describe but if you've been there, you understand. It was snowing by that time and it felt like I was inside a little snow globe. During the class, we shared what goals we met while at Green Mountain and how we were going to find support back in our real lives. We then gathered together in a circle and listened to a song, most of us crying. It was a very touching moment that I will never forget.
Dinner on my last night at Green Mountain was wonderful. Chicken Parmesan and whole wheat pasta. And for dessert, ice cream! I savored those bites of ice cream, I don't think ice cream has ever tasted so wonderful.
This morning I was able to have one last breakfast with my friends. Of the class I started with, 4 of us left today. It was especially hard to leave behind my roommate, Beth. She is my Green Mountain BFF. We were commonly referred to as "sisters from another mother" and the twins. We were also the only "clique" allowed (I say this with humor), where one of us was, the other was not usually far away. But she was my motivation and support during my 2 weeks at Green Mountain. I feel you meet some people at certain times in your life for a reason and I feel like I met Beth for a reason.
My Green Mountain BFF
But let me not leave out my other new friends. Thank you to Patty (for teaching me to be snarky), Alyson (who I saw at the Boston airport and didn't know our paths would soon come together), Denise (for reminding me to be kind to myself), Barb (for telling me how beautiful I am, even though I still have a hard time believing it), Samantha (for rolling in the snow with me and hugging me when I was crying), Karin and Lisa (who are already talking about a reunion, I'll totally be there!), and Allison (who I met in my second week and is my new DC Green Mountain friend).
I will never forget these friends and, together, we will support each other.
Me, Patty, Beth, and Alyson
Now I sit here in the airport, surrounded by people eating Johnny Rockets and pizza, and I mindfully ate the lunch of egg salad sandwich and an orange that Green Mountain was kind enough to give me for my journey. I'm headed home to my boyfriend and Ms Molly and my friends at home.
As a lot of my new friends have requested, I will keep up this blog once I get home. I'll write about my progress and my frustrations. There will be good days and days I forget to be kind to myself. There will be days when I am mindful and days when mindfulness is the last thing on my mind. I will share my challenges and my achievements, big and small. Hopefully along the way, I can motivate others.
I love this new me, the Green Mountain me.
My Green Mountain Me loves to dance
Green Mountain Julia is strong, energetic, motivating, beautiful, kind to herself and others, encouraging, comforting, and kickass! I can't wait to follow along as you continue your journey. Also I can't wait until we can meet again!
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